My Daughter is My Hero

January 13, 2015 / Anne (Grace is my Superhero) / 2 Comments

Areli Endura, my firstborn and my oldest daughter, how can I begin to describe her? I heard both of her unusual names in Belize when I was there on a mission trip. I thought they were the most beautiful girl names I had ever heard, and filed them in my brain under, “What to call my firstborn daughter.” Well, a girl has never been more appropriately named. Areli is Hebrew and means, “Heroic.” Endura means endurance. My daughter displays her heroism with an amazing endurance that allows her to continue being my hero day in and day out.

Areli was the sweetest baby. I didn’t know a thing about being a mom, but Areli made it a breeze. She was almost always happy, and slept through the night at six weeks. She did give us a scare when she stopped gaining weight from 2 months until 4 months of age. In my inexperience, I didn’t realize that a two month old should not be sleeping 12 continuous hours at night without a feeding. As soon as I started to wake her up to nurse her more often, she started gaining weight again.

As a baby, she would wake up during the night very infrequently. When she did, she would cry quietly and the go back to sleep. One night she let out a cry and then went back to sleep as usual. Normally I wouldn’t check on her but would just go back to sleep myself. This night something compelled me to walk into the hall and I smelled that something wasn’t right. When I entered her room I realized what had happened. She had gotten sick all over her crib sheets and let out a cry. Then she simply settled down in a dry corner of her bed and went back to sleep! How thankful I was that I could clean her up and put my uncomplaining baby back to sleep on fresh sheets!

When my second baby was born, he seemed to be the opposite of Areli, waking up constantly and crying with loud persistent wails. Areli was only 18 months old and still slept in her crib. She would sleep in each morning and then play happily by herself until I could drag myself out of bed in the morning, sometimes as late as 10am! Her sweet personality persisted as she grew, always wanting to please, always being kind to others.

One morning when she was 5 years old, she came downstairs clutching her belly. She simply went and lay down on the couch and moaned in pain. I hardly ever have to take my children to the doctor, but I knew something was wrong. She never acted this way! I immediately took her and the three younger children to an urgent care clinic. They in turn immediately sent us to the emergency room, convinced that she was suffering from an appendicitis. Areli endured the pain through waiting and lots of tests.

The day had turned into night, Chris was flying home from a job in New York, and nothing had been done to help Areli. Areli was in the greatest pain of her life, yet she was still quiet and uncomplaining. All the nurses adored her and would bring her anything they could find to cheer her up; puzzles, a special quilt, and a stuffed animal. When a nurse gave Areli a very strong pain medication, Areli got her first relief of the day. She also became quite loopy. She turned to the nurse and said in a goofy voice, “I love you!” It was obvious to me that the feeling was mutual.

Unbelievably, they sent her home! The next day brought the same intense pain. I had to take all of my children (four, five and under) to a follow-up appointment. All Areli could do was sit in the stroller and moan every time I hit a bump. Finally we saw the doctor and he said, “We had better operate.” This is another story of God’s faithfulness that maybe I will tell at another time. Through it all, Areli was a gem!

As Areli got older she continued to show this ability to remain steady and calm during sickness, pain, and 6 extremely annoying younger brothers. She was always quick to forgive and the first one to offer to help.

The most amazing thing was the stories that I heard after the fact, told to me by her brothers, about how Areli had saved their lives! The first incident happened when Areli was around 8 years of age. She and Cole and Cadin were invited to a friend’s birthday party at an indoor pool. I was very nervous to allow them to go without me or Chris attending, since none of them had officially learned how to swim. Chris insisted that they would be fine, and that his friend Paul would watch over them. When they returned from the party, Cadin relayed this terrifying story to me. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal, but my mother’s heart began to tremble! Cadin had torn out of the dressing room long before Paul was ready. He ran directly to the deeper end of the pool and jumped right in. It was at that point that Cadin realized that he couldn’t swim, nor could he touch the sides or bottom of the pool. He started to struggle and sink under the water. Areli was the first one there to save him. She jumped in despite the fact that she couldn’t swim either. She held on to the side to the pool with one arm and grabbed Cadin with the other, pulling him to the wall as much a she could. The grandmother of the birthday boy noticed what was going on. She reached down and pulled Cadin to safety.

Talking about this amazing example of heroics a few months ago, Cole piped up.

“Oh yeah, Areli saved my life too!” It turns out that when we were camping in 2011, we were all enjoying the pool. Cole had worn himself out but still decided to jump into the deep end. Again, he was not a strong swimmer. He found himself too weak to swim and too weak to call out for help. Areli was the first one to realized that Cole was sinking, and she threw him a life-preserver. This hero just saved brother number two!

Three months ago I was getting ready in the upstairs bathroom as the other children were playing downstairs. Chai came upstairs to tell me about an event that had just taken place in my own home while I was completely unaware. My insides started to tremble again!

Chai had put a small Lego in his mouth. Why do boys do things like that? He is 9 and knows better! He accidentally swallowed it, but it got stuck on the way down. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t call out, and he couldn’t make a sound! Cole noticed his distress and brought him to Areli. She thought fast and realized that she probably didn’t have time to bring him to me. So she performed the Heimlich maneuver on him herself, sending that Lego flying!

As a mother, I am always thinking about my children’s safety, always making and enforcing rules to keep them safe, always training them to be safe, always checking on them. Yet I know that it is impossible to watch even one child every moment of everyday. I am not in control of every action and reaction. Yet I know that God IS in control! I am almost constantly praying for them, placing them into God’s hands and asking Him to keep his angels right next to them to deliver them from danger. Well, at least three times that angel has been my daughter, Areli!

I cannot even describe my deep, deep gratitude and relief!

Areli does something that is perhaps even more heroic every day. She has the endurance to help around the house, love her annoying…er, I mean precious and adorable siblings, excel in her school work and have a sweet disposition almost EVERY, SINGLE DAY! Now that I am pregnant, Areli does even more.

She shares a room with her special needs sister who is 11, but acts like a three-year old. Every morning Areli changes Ashlyn’s pull-up, gets her dressed, puts the special braces on her feet, and takes her potty.

Then Areli goes down to the kitchen and makes kefir, oatmeal, and a smoothie. She serves breakfast to her brothers and sister and then cleans up the very messy kitchen. She puts in a load of laundry and goes off to work on her cyber school for hours. At lunch, she helps to prepare the food, cleans the kitchen again, and does more laundry. Then she sits Ashlyn on the potty again, changes her, and puts her to bed for nap. During nap Areli works on more school and watches over the house while I take a rest. In the evening she cleans the kitchen for the third time and puts Ashlyn to bed for the night. In her free time I see her reading her Bible and taking notes. She loves God and it shows!

She babysits for me whenever I need to do an errand or whenever Chris and I get a date night. She has witnessed the birth of her four youngest brothers and has helped to care for them. One of the baby boys even slept in Areli’s room at night, and Areli would hold him and comfort him when he woke up. She tells me that she is so excited to have the new baby girl in her room. She loves babies.

She really does enjoy spending time with the family and being our family photographer. Practically every single photo on this blog was taken by Areli.

Some days she looks worn out. Some days she acts like if she doesn’t get away from the younger Brandenburg brood, she is going to explode! But most days she is joyful, helpful, and efficient. Chris and I love to reward her with special gifts, time out with friends, time doing Youth Group activities, and letting her relax in the evening later than any of the other children. I know that God desires to reward her even more!

Without Areli, I couldn’t handle all of my mothering duties. I wonder how I will ever make it when she grows up and moves out!

It seems to me that there could never be a young man worthy enough to deserve my Areli.

It is probably very unlikely that any young men will be reading my blog. But perhaps their mothers will be. So let me make my prayers for a son-in-law known. I have prayed that he would be twice the servant that my heroic daughter is. That he would excel at serving, having practiced all of his growing up years. That once he marries my daughter, he would make it his life’s goal to out serve her and never take advantage of her giving spirit. I pray that he would be passionate for God, out doing Areli in seeking after Him and obeying Him in everything. I pray that he would be a man who considers fatherhood his most lofty goal and children his most precious resource.

` All of my children are amazing and I could write an article like this about each one of them. (Maybe I will someday!) But today I am considering this beautiful young woman who truly is my hero and the joy of my heart!

Birth Story: Part 4 – Chai, the One Who Brought Redemption!

August 21, 2014 / Anne (Grace is my Superhero) / 2 Comments

I was pregnant with number five, and I knew I needed to try something different! I had gained enough hospital experiences to last me the rest of my life. I would have been happy to never return.

Ashlyn, who was now 18 months, was a developmentally delayed because of a rare chromosomal abnormality. She was surprisingly healthy and incredibly happy…except when we visited any doctor’s office. They she cried and screamed inconsolably. She had had her fill of hospitals and doctors as well! How different things would have been for her if I would have had the courage to try a home birth.

But this time I was ready! I read and studied. All my research concluded the same thing. Every study ever done comparing hospital births to home-births (assisted by a trained midwife) revealed that home-births were safer! Home-birth labors were faster, less painful and required less intervention. There were fewer chances for infection, injury, and death for both mother and baby. I interviewed the home-birth midwives in Colorado Springs. I found a very experienced midwife named Merrie who I just loved. She thoroughly enjoyed what she did for a living, and she put me at ease. I asked Merrie about what would happen if we had another child like Ashlyn. The doctors had told us that it was a possibility. She was just fine with it and reassured us that she was trained to transport us to the hospital at the very first sign of problems.

The pregnancy began with a bit of fear and trepidation. What if this child was born with problems? I would recognize Ashlyn’s distinctive features as soon as the child was born. I imagined what I would feel; looking into the eyes of another “special” child and wondering if I would be able to handle the strain of it all. Ashlyn was still like a baby. She did not yet sit up or crawl, although she had started to scoot herself around on her belly in a funny one-legged pattern. Who knew what the future held for her? Yet, her smile brought so much joy, her sweet spirit ministered to me. I knew I wouldn’t trade her for the world! She was the perfect baby for me! I didn’t know how her life would unfold, but God did, and He said it was good! I realized that even if this unborn child had problems, I would love him or her just as much!

Slowly and steadily, as the baby grew in my belly, so did my peace and trust in God. I knew that having a home-birth was the right decision. I knew that this baby would be fine. We found out that the baby was a boy, and Chris and I searched for a name that would bring redemption to all of the problems that Ashlyn had been having. We chose Chai Erik which meant, “Healthy and Powerful!” Every time called him by his name, we were prophesying to him that he was healthy and powerful!

If you read my last post, Birth Story: Part 3, you will remember our bad church situation. When Ashlyn was four months old, our family was kicked out of that church. It was the best thing that could have happened to us! We were now being reunited with truth and love and had rediscovered the joy of our salvation! We also realized that where we really wanted to live was back in our hometown in Pennsylvania. Life Center, the church we had grown up in and had been married in, wanted to hire Chris! God was working out all the amazing details for us to move back home! We were full of deep, deep gratitude!

Three and a half weeks before my due date, Life Center flew Chris out to Pennsylvania for the final interview. He was having a wonderful time reconnecting with dear friends. I was at home taking care of four young children and throwing up every few hours with contractions that tightened my very huge belly! The ladies at Life Center thought I was going into labor! I reassured them that it was only a stomach bug. I had never thrown up in labor before, and I wasn’t going to start now!

Chris returned home the next day and I was feeling better! We were so excited about packing and moving across the country to our new lives! We just had to wait for this baby to be born.

We didn’t have to wait long. The very next night around two in the morning, I rolled over in bed and my water broke. At first a wave of fear washed over me. This was how it had all started with Ahslyn. First my water had broken, then no contractions, then the hospital, then lots of rude people, then Pitocin, then birth defects, then…on and on my mind churned. What if this labor was like the last time? I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn’t. When the sun rose, I quietly got out of bed and sat at the kitchen table with my Bible and notebook.

“OK God, I really need to hear your voice now. I do not want to listen to the voice of fear,” I prayed.

God put verses Isaiah 66:7-9 into my mind. I looked them up and as I read, peace and joy washed over my spirit in healing waves. I couldn’t hold back my worship and love for this God who had just given me the best verses that any pregnant woman could ever hope to receive!

“Before she goes into labor, she gives birth; before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son. Who has ever heard of such a thing? Who has ever seen such things? Can a country be born in a day or a nation be brought forth in a moment? Yet no sooner is Zion in labor than she gives birth to her children. ‘Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?’ says the LORD.”

God spoke to the very depth of my fears; that labor wouldn’t start for days and this baby wouldn’t be born. Yet God was saying that he would be born in a day and that I would give birth before the pains came upon me! I was so relieved and thankful!

Then I became a bit agitated. This baby was coming fast and nothing was ready! Chris was still sleeping; the birthing pool wasn’t set up; the midwife wasn’t there. I started having contractions, and I woke Chris up.

“I think we need to set up the birthing pool!” I said. He seemed to take his good old time! He didn’t feel the same urgency that I did. When I was having contractions about every five minutes, we called Merrie to come over. She arrived with another midwife. I slipped into the warm birthing pool which was really just a kiddie pool with brightly colored fish decorating the sides. I was so comfortable that my contractions completely stopped.

“I am in no hurry. I will stay here for as long as it takes,” Merrie said. “Although, you do need to have contractions if you want to have a baby. I have a homeopathic remedy that could start the contractions coming more regularly, if you want it.”

I said that would be great. It was a tiny dose of minuscule white pills. Sure enough, soon those contractions were coming again. The pain was not bad at all, but I was feeling it in my back. Pretty soon I had gotten onto my knees to lean over the side of the pool. Merrie applied pressure to my back with every contraction and that helped immensely.

“I have a feeling that the back pain is being cause by the baby flipped in the wrong direction,” Mary said. “I think if he turns, he will come right out! I have another homeopathic remedy that will turn the baby, but if he is in the correct position now, it won’t change that.”

I took it and a short time later I felt a very funny flipping and flopping feeling inside of me. He turned! Because the pain was so minimal, I was aware of the baby descending into the birth canal. I knew he was coming soon! Chris was casually taking orders for lunch. He was planning on running out to pick up some Chinese food and eating lunch before the baby was born.

“Chris you don’t have time for that. He is coming! I think he is coming now!”

Merrie asked Chris if he wanted to catch the precious bundle.

“Sure!’ Chris said as he knelt on the floor and leaned over the birthing pool. Chai came sliding into the world under the water and into Chris’ waiting hands. It was 11:55am and we were looking at a perfect, beautiful, and normal baby boy!

I sat in the warm water and held him close. We were so cozy and comfortable that we remained in the water for another half an hour and made our excited announcement calls to friends and family.

Finally we both got dried off and transferred to my bed. I felt so incredibly happy and comfortable. I wasn’t even bothered by those pesky after-contractions that had hurt so much the previous times.

God words had proven true! My greatest fears had not been manifested. In fact, just the opposite had been true! I understood that just as God had brought this baby forth so easily, He would also bring us into our promised land. It would be His grace and His favor that would bring us into the new lives we were longing and yearning for with all of our hearts! He had brought us redemption!

Interior Decorating According to Children

July 23, 2014 / Anne (Grace is my Superhero) / 5 Comments

I don’t think my children understand what “interior decorating” means.

I love to daydream about rooms in my house that I will remake into works of art. I enjoy looking at pictures in magazines and collecting ideas from TV shows and friends houses. I dream about getting yards and yards of inexpensive fabric at the PA Fabric Outlet for future curtains. I create floor plans in my mind, full of colors and patterns. When I think about decorating my bedroom, I think about fresh, light blue paint on the walls and a beautiful blue and white quilt for the bed.

I used to have daydreams for my children’s rooms as well. Areli’s room was going have purple bedding and yellow walls featuring lovely framed photos of Anne Geddes baby butterflies. Twelve years have passed since those dreams, and Areli no longer wants purple and butterflies.

Cooper and Calvin share a bright red bunk bed which matches nicely with their area rug of bright red, blues, and greens. Their walls still sport the pastel yellow, mint, and pink colors that were painted by the previous owner for their little girl. It doesn’t bother me too much because in my mind, their walls are the perfect shade of blue. At least we removed the sparkly chandelier.

Nine months ago we created a fifth bedroom in our home for the baby, and I have filled up a file cabinet in my brain with ideas for his room consisting of a many shades of orange and a lot of lions. The walls of his room are still stark and messy white, all patched with putty, waiting to be sanded and painted a warm yellowish, orangey, brown/tan color. The actual official color has yet to be researched and determined. Something like Sherwin Williams’ “Delicious Melon.”

Will my interior decorating dreams ever come to pass? I am still hopeful, although I have not yet been able to do any of the children’s rooms in my 15 years of being a mom. Just for fun and so I could more accurately daydream about decorating their rooms, I posed the question to each child.

“What if you had your own room and you could decorate it any way you wanted to?”

The answers amazed and inspired me, but I realized that they don’t think about decorating in the same way I do. Not by a long shot! The answers ranged from:

“Camouflage loft bed with green walls and a huge closet that locks so no one can touch my stuff.”

“A wall covered with books shelves and books, my own laptop with editing software, new and better cameras.”

“Entertainment center with flat screen TV and game system that flips around to become a dresser with all my clothes inside, blue walls, black ceiling with lights shaped like stars.”

I explained that none of their bedrooms would ever contain a TV or a game system as long as they lived with me, but that did not deter them.

“Flat screen TV, many game systems, and a slide that goes out my window. It will be a water slide but I can shut the water off, and then it will just be a regular slide…Oh, and I want a pool in my room.”

“A bed that comes out of the wall by itself and a pool and a hot tub and a slide and…” This answer was given by Calvin, my talkative 5-year old.

He continued to expound on the details of his dream room for the next 20 minutes. I must admit that my mind kept wandering in and out of the conversation. I caught fragments of his chattering.

“…the toilet will flush by itself….the lava wont hurt me…there will be crazy glue but I wont die…there will be extra feet to put on if you want to be taller…” and on and on it went.

Although I could not make sense of it all, one thing became abundantly clear to me. My definition of “interior decorating” had become much too narrow. What had happened to my big, hairy, audacious dreams? Children seem to be able to tell you exactly what they want, whether or not it is realistic …or even real. And they are not deterred by restrictions and rules. They think out of the box. Or perhaps their boxes are much more vast and exciting than my box. Those boxes become smaller and smaller as the child gets older, I have noticed. But isn’t it impossible, child-like faith that has given birth to solutions and inventions never previously considered?

I pray we can all grab onto that child-like hoping and imagining. Even if it never comes to pass the way we envision it, it sure is a lot of fun! And I pray that my children can hold on to their interior decorating dreams. I would love a house with slides and toilets that flush by themselves!