snow

It is still winter in Central Pennsylvania despite the fact that it becomes spring today. Spring seems to be talking much too long to catch up with the calendar. Breakthroughs in our business and personal lives seem to be taking much too long to break through. This baby seems to be taking much too long to grow. It is true that I am not even to my due date yet, being 35 weeks. Yet my body keeps complaining that surely it must time, that it cannot continue under this heavy load any longer.

A week ago I started having signs of preterm labor. This has never happened in any of my previous eight pregnancies. It was weird and unexpected and unsettling. I would have loved to give birth and be done with pregnancy. I would have loved to hold my little girl in my arms! Yet, it just wasn’t time yet. She wasn’t ready yet, and who knows what problems could have popped up. I would have to forfeit my cozy homebirth for a hospital birth where every little bit of the process is monitored. My tired and sore body feels like it cannot go on…yet it can and it must. Just a few more weeks!
Thankfully the contractions went away and peace has settled again. What’s a few more weeks? It is a privilege and an honor to provide a safe place for my baby to grow until the fullness of time. I would continue past my due date if I had to (though I sincerely wish I do NOT have to!)

My daughter took some lovely pictures that caused me to take heart again and see the beauty of the here and now.

This brave little robin and these courageous young crocuses have lifted their heads despite the adversity to become harbingers of a new season.

They proclaim that nothing can hold back the sunshine and warmer temperatures! No woman is pregnant forever! Every promise has it’s time of fulfillment! And it will be the perfect time and well worth the wait.

I have always loved February. I know that many people would not agree with that sentiment, especially in frigid Pennsylvania, especially this year. This could possibly be the coldest February on record with subzero temperatures, ice, and snow. Yet, I still can say, “Isn’t February lovely?”

My birthday is in February, on the very best day, the 22^nd. That is also George Washington’s birthday. As a child, February was full of joyful anticipation of celebration centered around me! My little head was filled with visions of ice cream cakes, presents, games, and friends…maybe even a pizza party.

There is also Valentine’s Day to brighten things up. Forget about the silly relationship drama that depresses the immature around this holiday. Think about the beautiful Victorian images of pretty ladies surrounded by flowers and chubby cherubs holding hearts. Smell the roses that show up everywhere in February and defy the chill outside.

It is still the middle of winter. My children don’t even want to play outside because it is too cold. Yet I can feel spring! I can feel it in my heart. All of my 39 Februaries on this earth have given way to spring in March or April. I have deep confidence that spring will come again because it always has. Nothing can hold it back!

In fact, it is already here. I feel it in the morning sunshine that arrives earlier each day. I hear it in the songs of the birds twittering away as though they had green trees to play in. Around my birthday each year, the crocus would begin to bloom. This year I thought that surely they must be delayed. The ground is still like the frozen tundra. How could they possibly break through with their tender leaves?

I checked the spot in the soil where they had laid dormant for so long. And guess what I saw!