I signed up for grief art. I don’t usually do that: sign up for things I have never done with people I have never met.
But something (or someone) compelled me. The Hospice group that provided care for my mom in her last two days life offered me bereavement services. I received mailings from them: a lovely brochure, sweet looking grief counselors, and a myriad of different opportunities. I was drawn to the grief art. I hadn’t done art in so long, and I love to be creative. I would also receive a free flower pot and rosemary plant. Sign me up! But I hesitated and thought the business of life would brush the opportunity under the rug where it would be forgotten. Then I wouldn’t have to put myself out there.
Months went by and I couldn’t get the grief art out of my mind. I really thought I was supposed to be there. So I called and signed up myself and my neighbor who had recently lost her dad. The only problem was my neighbor didn’t know anything about the grief art…yet.
A couple weeks was all I had to devise a plan. Get a card. Find a gift. Search for appropriate wrappings. Drop a sympathy gift and card (asking her to come with me to grief art) on my neighbor’s front step.
She enthusiastically and immediately agreed to go. I was so surprised!
Greif art, here we come!
We arrived on the day of the event to find a large room with quite a few people already gathered. There were flower pots, all kinds of markers and paints plus everything you could think of to glue on your pot at the many “gluing stations”.
An artists dream!
Then the food started to arrive. Carts and carts of food! Oh yeah, lunch was included. I could hardly eat anything for the excitement I felt at being creative again.
My mom was on a mission at the end of her life, to complete as many adult coloring pages she could and give them away to bless others. Her colorings became more and more bold with brighter and deeper colors. I thought of the amazing pictures of hot air balloons that she had colored and passed out to different family members. I wanted to recreate that on my pot.

We were supposed to design our pots to give honor to our loved one. When you have art to concentrate on, conversation flows easily. I had lovely conversations with my neighbor and the lady who sat beside me. I asked one of the older gentlemen who his pot was for and he replied, “My wife.”
“What is her name?” I asked.
“Connie,” he said the with such love. He could say no more for the raw grief and tears that came with just uttering that precious name. I was arrested by tears and couldn’t say anything either. What could I say? But I looked at him with the compassion of God and nodded my head. I hope he received the message that I could not speak out loud.
“I see you. I have sympathy for you. I understand your grief, at least an infinitesimal part of your grief, and I applaud you for coming here today.”
I worked the entire time until the sweet grief counselors seemed ready to leave. All that time and I didn’t create a masterpiece. But I was happy with what I ended up with. Similar to my mom’s coloring but softer and lighter (like me). It makes me happy to look at it, and it reminds me of my mom.

I set it up on my kitchen window sill, along with the sunflower jar that used to nurture the tiny yellow flowers that brought my mom such joy. It was the only kind of plant that I could buy for my mom that wouldn’t die. The sunflower seeds would sprout and grow in water and wouldn’t shrivel up in the 80 degree habitat mom lived in. A Mother’s Day gift for mom last year.
Today is mother’s day. I received a rose at church this morning. A brilliant rose of yellow whose petals looked like they were dipped in crimson. I got it home and knew I had the perfect vase for it. It was a vase of my mom’s that I have totally forgotten about. This week I was able to attend the funeral of my best friend’s mother-in-law. My best friend has been with me since first grade and she knew my mom better that most. With all that she had to do, she remembered to bring the vase to give to me at the funeral. She explained that this vase had been sitting in her mother-in-law’s window sill for many years. My mom had stopped by her home long ago to bring her flowers in this fiery vase. Now it was in my possession.
It was as though I had received a gift from my mom from beyond the grave.

I have the hope that my mom is living in indescribable joy right now!
I know that Jesus is taking care of her body, soul, and spirit.
I have to remind myself that I don’t have to carry the burden of being her firstborn and her power of attorney anymore. I am free to enjoy my Mother’s day with my children without worrying if I am visiting my mom enough and getting her a gift that is sufficiently meaningful.
Yet here I am, on Mother’s Day, thinking about her and writing a blog about her: about the everyday joys of bright colors and art that make her present in my ordinary, worn, dirty, and precious kitchen.














































general store. At the visitors center we learned that the women who used run the World’s Best Snack Shop was now at that general store. The children had dollars that they wanted to spend on some exciting souvenir.











I felt all too strongly how much the letters from the girl in the west had come to mean to him. As I started at the approach of each passing car I was almost overwhelmed by my sense of responsibility at letting him drive a thousand miles to meet me. As I peered at the girl in the mirror in my room I wondered again and again if I would look like the person that he had built up in his mind out of the many snap shots that I had sent him.

At noon two days before the following New Years, Lenard and I stood before the holly and evergreen decorated fireplace of my home and exchanged marriage vows before a local minister. A few days later his friends were surprised by the news that he had married a bride in the west. And my friends were equally puzzled by the announcements that I had married an easterner and gone east to live. Only one of his friends and one of mine have ever learned how it happened. Even yet we are sometimes startled by the innocent question, “And how did you meet?” A staid college professor and his faculty wife can hardly answer that it was through the “personal” column of a magazine.

CR.) It had the charm and character of an older building. It was situated in an established neighborhood with tree lined streets. We used to take long walks and imagine which one of the beautiful homes we would buy one day. We were excited that it had a garage, a rare find for an apartment building. We were delighted when we pulled into the garage that first time, only to realize that there was no extra room for the driver to open his door and actually exit the vehicle while still in the garage. On a particularity hot summer day, the second story apartment became just oppressive. We realized that running two air conditioners at once was too much for the old electrical panel to handle. Just minor details that added to the charm.
and settled her into the extra room. I can’t describe how beautiful it was, that cherub sleeping in her own crib in her own room. We had our second child and added another crib. We had our third child and added a set of bunk beds. Then we had our fourth child, and she ended up in our walk in closet. The walls felt as though they were closing in on us, and the concrete slab in back wasn’t what our children needed for a back yard.
eal house with a real fenced in yard! With four, then five young children, I felt like I had won the lottery! The fence was not an effective barrier for the little neighbor boy down the street, who would escape by climbing over his fence and into the neighbor’s yard and eventually into our yard…all without his parents having a clue. They would find him wandering around the neighborhood doing interesting things, such as “selling” free ice cubes door to door out of a soggy cardboard box. My children didn’t feel inclined to follow little Nick, but rather played contentedly in our own back yard, safe and secure, and life was good!
across the c ountry was like crossing the Jordan. As we drove into Central Pennsylvania, I could hardly believe it! We had arrived! We had reached our own little piece of heaven in a rental house on Market Street. Sure, there was constant traffic and sirens passing our house 4 or 5 times a day. Sure, there was a lot of air pollution and mold in the house. (We have never been so sick as a family as we were in that house.) Yet, out the kitchen window I could see a stunning dogwood tree, showing off its in




