I had just struggled through the door of the orthodontist with my daughter. Ashlyn is almost a teenager and in dire need of braces on her teeth. Doing orthodontic work on a child who is mentally three is difficult enough. Then there is her club foot deformity. She can walk with braces on her feet, but she is very awkward. Sometimes she almost pulls me down while trying to steady herself. We took seats right inside the door. I was feeling a bit self-conscious, expecting people to be staring at me and my special needs daughter.
I found myself in the middle of a conversation between two women. Both were talking about how terrible their knees were. One of the women was in her 40s and had just gotten cortisone shots in each knee which helped considerably. The other women was in her 50s and she told about having trouble with her left knee since she was 24. Back then, since she had some cartilage damage, the doctors decided to do surgery to remove all the cartilage.
“It has just been bone on bone ever since then. It is awful, but I won’t let them cut me open again, no matter how bad it gets,” she said with passion.
“God could give her new cartilage,” I thought to myself. “Areli’s mission’s team in Australia has been seeing healings. Why not here?”
I felt compelled to ask her if I could pray for her. Suddenly I had another thought that stopped me in my tracks.
“You are sitting here with a hip that gives you trouble. You have had prayer so many times and it is not better. What makes you think that you can pray for this woman? You are sitting right next to your daughter who is obviously in need of healing herself. She is evidence that God doesn’t always answer your prayers. It would be better for you to just keep your mouth shut than look like a fool.”
These thoughts all flashed through my mind in the span of a second, but they seemed reasonable to me, and I stayed quiet. Yet I thought about it for the next few days. When I shared this all with Chris, he said, “You know that was the devil.”
I hadn’t realized it, but now that I write it out, it sounds just like that liar! Why do I fall for it almost every time? Over the next few days as I was driving my children around town, I kept encountering God through the Word of Promise New Testament on CD, The Book of Mark.
Jesus said to the father, “You said, ‘If you can!’ All things are possible for him who believes.” Immediately the father cried out, “I do believe! Help me to believe more!”
Jesus healed the boy despite the father’s doubts.
“Jesus, please heal my daughter despite all of MY doubts. How can I obtain this healing for her that seems so mysteriously hidden and out of reach?” I prayed.
Jesus answered “Have faith in God, I tell you the truth. You can say to this mountain, fall into the sea.’ And if you have no doubts in your mind and believe that the thing you say will happen, then God will do it for you. So I tell you to ask for things in prayer. And if you believe that you have received those things, then they will be yours.”
“And those who believe will be able to do these things as proof: They will use my name to force demons out of people. They will speak in languages they never learned. They will pick up snakes without being hurt. And they will drink poison without being hurt. They will touch the sick, and the sick will be healed.”
“Wow,” I thought to myself, “I don’t think I am a believer in the way Jesus meant for me to be, because I don’t have much of that evidence in my life. Am I even really a true believer? How can I increase my faith?”
I asked myself those questions all week long. Finally an answer came in a most beautiful way. The sermon on Sunday was being preached by the pastor of Christ Community Church, Dave Hess. He spoke directly to my questioning heart, as though God had instructed him to do so. You can listen to the entire sermon on LCMI.TV.
He was talking about finding what was pleasing to the Lord. He said that God loved it when we joined Him on His adventures, taking risks and seizing opportunities. Our mission (found in Eph 5:8) is to take full advantage of everyday, to make the most of the time (Kairos time – a moment of opportunity that won’t last long). When we see a chance to step out and show God’s love, fear comes from the enemy who is trying to keep us from taking an opportunity that he wanted to use.
Rev 12:12 says that a generation will arise that will make Satan furious because he has run out of Kairos time, which just means that he is getting ticked off because the opportunities that he used to take advantage of are now being overtaken by the people of God.
Then Dave shared about when he first started trying to get words of knowledge for people outside of the church in an effort to bring them healing. He floundered around awkwardly and made many mistakes.
“You will make mistakes”, he said, “But it is worth every risk and mistake because God can use our most stupid moments and make something redemptive.”
Then he read a declaration over all of us that answered the cry of my heart for more faith.
You will live as a child with his Father, flooded with His revelation light.
You will learn to choose what is beautiful to the Lord.
His supernatural fruit will be seen in you – His goodness, His righteousness, and His truth.
You will live with true wisdom having discernment to fully understand His will.
You will take full advantage of every day, every Kairos moment, spending your life for His purposes.
You are going to maximize the opportunities that He brings to you.
I think I am going to write these out and post them on my bathroom mirror. I can read them and build my spiritual muscles by adding faith to every word!
One thought on “Am I a True Believer?”
Your amazing writing is right on target! All we need is LOVE!
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